Here's a covert pic of me speeding my way back to you.
Full blog soon chaps...
Wednesday, 11 November 2009
Monday, 12 October 2009
Psst! Quick message...
Still behind enemy lines, but main mission accomplished. Can't say too much at the mo'.Thought I'd share this quick pic with you of our postal service biplane we created out of scrap wheel barrows to smuggle these messages out...
TTFN!
Wing Co
Friday, 18 September 2009
Going silent for a tad...
Devious Devils, the enemy!
It seems after the outrageous success of my last mission, the enemy's top evil boffin was partially rebuilt and his vengeful, twisted genius has come up with a new plan to terrorize our somewhat riff-raff local allies.
Smaller, simpler stealth sky ships made from dried camel skins!
The raw materials are easy to come by, and, of course impervious to the fierce desert sun...
So, without further ado, Her Majesty's fearsome M.O.D. suspended all leave at the Top Secret Nuclear Bunker, Biggin Hill, U.K. and ordered us back behind enemy lines once again!Duty calls, my brave fellow Officers and gentle Lady followers of this secret blog, so, for once, I must be brief...
Intel reports have confirmed that the enemy buggers were actually inspired by our very own western press agencies when they rather stupidly released stolen covert pictures of U.S. heavy lift choppers delivering an unnamed ally a new warship over the heavily mined naval strait.
As I have previously covertly revealed in full glorious detail before here in my private papers the enemy's first airships were huge wooden aerialbattleships, of crude design, but tremendous firepower.
We soon took them out, but did not know about the advanced designs they were working on.
The United Nations covert Space tracking station "Aye Eye"
spotted and plotted their test runs and dispatched my lovely and vivacious very personal assistants Lt Carruthers and Captain Faifax to swiftly deal with them before they could attack our own covert robotic supply airships
We now have a more detailed plan for the main attack but unfortunately that must remain Ultra Top Secret for now.
Suffice to say Carruthers, Faifax, Selene, Fox, & I must remain deep under covers for a while...
I shall send you my next report as and when I am able to break radio silence. Until then, keep the faith and defend the realm!
I'm sure we shall meet again very soon...
Warmest regards,
Wing Co
( p.s. 'til I retrun, you can follow my olde adventures in order from here should you wish... )
Tuesday, 15 September 2009
First flight
I've had most of the young fillies from the Royal Air Farce Regiment begging me to regale them for hours with my tales of daring and adventure. One of the most popular queries being "how did you begin your illustrious flying career, Wing Co. Sir?"
Well, as I'm sure all aviators know, the world's premier Air Force, The Royal Air Force, The R.A.F. wasn't officially formed until 1 April 1918 by the amalgamation of the Royal Flying Corps (RFC) and the Royal Naval Air Service (RNAS).
The RFC had been a corps of the army, and the RNAS under the control of Admiralty.
I, off course, had served with distinction in both services and was soon snapped up by the fledgling RAF for a life of spectacular adventure.
But, dear readers, even before that, I was in the covert and highly dangerous Balloon Company of the Royal Engineers...
This previously top secret photograph has just been cleared for release from the Top Secret Nuclear Bunker archives by the fearsome M.O.D.
It shows yours truly setting orff on my first covert African mission. But let's not get ahead of ourselves..
In 1878, the War Office formed a secret establishment at Woolwich to develop military ballooning under a keen amateur balloonist Captain (later Colonel) James L B Templer.
Armed with a grant of £150, Britain’s first military balloon was constructed.
It was called Pioneer.
As a keen and brave young squaddie, (The R.A.F. obviously not yet in existence) I was accidentally volunteered for this brand new Balloon Section of the Royal Engineers.
A few years later, in 1885, the Fuzzie Wuzzies rose up and tried to take over the British built Suez canal.
The Empire couldn't have that, by jove!
So as part of the expeditionary force my balloon detachments were used operationally for the first time, in the Bechuanaland expedition and in the Sudan.
These campaigns proved the value of balloons for exceptional recon and we were soon back in action in the Boer War in South Africa (1899-1902) in the Natal, the Transvaal and the Orange Free State.
We were used for artillery observation in a number of major battles including Magersfontein, Paardeberg and Driefontein and were present at Ladysmith.
Damn it, man, I took a few pot shots meslf with me brand new Lee Enfield rifle, I can tell ya!
But I diverse..
After many more covert and recon ballooning adventures, which I may entertain you with at a later post, sometime around 1906, I moved up to my next, er, ahem, aircraft.
Kite, Man lifting 1A, I believe we called the contraption. Unlike balloons, these kites could be launched very quickly and used in winds of up to 50 miles per hour.
Which is why we grew such large moustaches; to warm our faces...
However, the following year, I was about to get my first proper motorised flight...
The Nulli Secundus (Latin: "Second to none") or British Army Dirigible No 1.
A Semi-rigid airship it became Britain's first military aircraft when she flew on 10 September 1907. The early design work was carried out by my old friend and mentor Colonel James Templer, and it was completed by Colonel John Capper of the Royal Engineers and Samuel Cody, the latter being mainly responsible for developing the steering gear and engine. She was built at our balloon factory at RAE Farnborough, and powered by a 50 hp (37 kW) Antoinette engine. She made her first public appearance on 5th October when we flew from Farnborough to London.
We completed a tour over the city, thrilling the patriotic crowds by circling St Paul's Cathedral until strong headwinds forced us to land at the Crystal Palace, Sydenham.
Our Historic flight lasted for 3 hours and 25 minutes and covered 50 miles (80 km) overland.
A young Wing Co, air ace of the future, had soared through the air on powered flight and there was no stopping him now!
Or the adventures that were to come...
Well, as I'm sure all aviators know, the world's premier Air Force, The Royal Air Force, The R.A.F. wasn't officially formed until 1 April 1918 by the amalgamation of the Royal Flying Corps (RFC) and the Royal Naval Air Service (RNAS).
The RFC had been a corps of the army, and the RNAS under the control of Admiralty.
I, off course, had served with distinction in both services and was soon snapped up by the fledgling RAF for a life of spectacular adventure.
But, dear readers, even before that, I was in the covert and highly dangerous Balloon Company of the Royal Engineers...
This previously top secret photograph has just been cleared for release from the Top Secret Nuclear Bunker archives by the fearsome M.O.D.
It shows yours truly setting orff on my first covert African mission. But let's not get ahead of ourselves..
In 1878, the War Office formed a secret establishment at Woolwich to develop military ballooning under a keen amateur balloonist Captain (later Colonel) James L B Templer.Armed with a grant of £150, Britain’s first military balloon was constructed.
It was called Pioneer.
As a keen and brave young squaddie, (The R.A.F. obviously not yet in existence) I was accidentally volunteered for this brand new Balloon Section of the Royal Engineers.
A few years later, in 1885, the Fuzzie Wuzzies rose up and tried to take over the British built Suez canal.The Empire couldn't have that, by jove!
So as part of the expeditionary force my balloon detachments were used operationally for the first time, in the Bechuanaland expedition and in the Sudan.
These campaigns proved the value of balloons for exceptional recon and we were soon back in action in the Boer War in South Africa (1899-1902) in the Natal, the Transvaal and the Orange Free State.
We were used for artillery observation in a number of major battles including Magersfontein, Paardeberg and Driefontein and were present at Ladysmith.
Damn it, man, I took a few pot shots meslf with me brand new Lee Enfield rifle, I can tell ya!
But I diverse..
After many more covert and recon ballooning adventures, which I may entertain you with at a later post, sometime around 1906, I moved up to my next, er, ahem, aircraft.
Kite, Man lifting 1A, I believe we called the contraption. Unlike balloons, these kites could be launched very quickly and used in winds of up to 50 miles per hour.Which is why we grew such large moustaches; to warm our faces...
However, the following year, I was about to get my first proper motorised flight...
The Nulli Secundus (Latin: "Second to none") or British Army Dirigible No 1.A Semi-rigid airship it became Britain's first military aircraft when she flew on 10 September 1907. The early design work was carried out by my old friend and mentor Colonel James Templer, and it was completed by Colonel John Capper of the Royal Engineers and Samuel Cody, the latter being mainly responsible for developing the steering gear and engine. She was built at our balloon factory at RAE Farnborough, and powered by a 50 hp (37 kW) Antoinette engine. She made her first public appearance on 5th October when we flew from Farnborough to London.
We completed a tour over the city, thrilling the patriotic crowds by circling St Paul's Cathedral until strong headwinds forced us to land at the Crystal Palace, Sydenham.
Our Historic flight lasted for 3 hours and 25 minutes and covered 50 miles (80 km) overland.
A young Wing Co, air ace of the future, had soared through the air on powered flight and there was no stopping him now!
Or the adventures that were to come...
Friday, 11 September 2009
Tuesday, 8 September 2009
Saluting Captain Bob!
Saluting Captain Bob!
Bob Prothero, a 70-year-old retired RAF group captain from Portsmouth, has described his terror when a vintage bomber he was manoeuvring at an airshow accidentally took off because his co-pilot hit the throttle.
The recently restored Handley Page Victor, a vital part of Britain’s nuclear deterrent in the 1950s and 1960s, was intended only to taxi along a runway in front of spectators, before stopping for photographs, at a Leicestershire airshow.
The 75-tonne V-bomber rapidly reached take-off speed and began to climb. As it lumbered into the air, reaching 150ft, it veered to the left — heading towards a housing estate.
Mr Prothero, who last flew a Victor in the 1980s and whose flying licence had long since expired, was faced with a split-second decision: “I was petrified. Everything was pure instinct,” he said.
“I was shouting at the co-pilot to pull the throttle back. I saw the nose rise into the air. I thought, ‘Oh God here we go, how are we going to get out of this one?’”
“I had to make a snap decision. I pointed the nose down and noticed we were well and truly airborne, but because of the crosswind we were not over the runway. Thankfully, I managed to pitch the aircraft back towards the runway and away from any spectators.”
Mr Prothero landed the aircraft — named Teasin’ Tina — without a scratch.
“Nobody could really believe what had happened. There were people slapping me on the back and congratulating me on not crashing the thing and ruining the day.”
Here at the Secret Nuclear Bunker, Biggin Hill, UK we raise a glass and a salute to Group Captain Bob Prothero!
Once a hero, always a hero. Jolly well done, Bob!
Monday, 7 September 2009
Good weekend?
What ho Chaps & Chapettes of Aviation Fandom!
Here's hoping one and all had a jolly good wheeze at the weekend, with more than your fair share of tiffing!
I know I certainly did...
After fending orf M.O.D. censorship threats (they don't like us revealing our secret mission reports here...), collating Intel reports of new readers (Hello, you're most welcome!) and replying to your kind messages of goodwill, we needed a bit of a whiz to combat the fatigue of good old fashioned hard work.
So my excellent very personal No 1, the lovely Lt Carruthers and her equally lovely assistant Lt Carstairs rather saucily suggested whisking me away for the weekend.
Oh, Rather!
How could any red blooded, true blue Brit hero lady Ace like yours truly refuse?
So, we fired up "Angel One", our Top Secret supersonic private jet...
...Piloted by the gorgeous Captain Fairfax, who warmly welcomed us aboard,
She put on these superb in flight movies...
...and flew us over to Korea, where our Biggin Hill Spy Satellites had picked out an unusual restaurant worthy of some serious investigation...
Orn the way, from our mile high positions, we spotted some simply splendid cloud effects around our escorting warplanes
We were lucky to see similarly striking scenes around some unsuspecting civilian airliners...
Though not too sure about this last one Fairfax claims she bagged from the cockpit.
Seems a tad iffy to me...
However, on touchdown it soon transpired all was not well at this particular eatery...
It had definitely seen better days...
And although the interior was still serviceable (not for Officers, admittedly, but NCO's would have found it appealing, I'm sure) ...
...the restaurant suddenly roared orf down the road with the rush hour traffic!
Would you believe it!
So, my lovely Carrauthers and Carstairs popped some more champers and a "small" totty of H.M. Service issue rum for me self...
Put on another coupla of movies...
and we zoomed over to a swish little place I know in Switzerland for a posh nosh there...
called Runway 34It's across one of the great lakes and the water taxi was quite, as you Americans might say, awesome!
Enough excitement for one day, we took the rather quaint retro-futuristic saucer bus back to Angel One...
Toodle pip, chaps!
TTFN,
Warmest regards,
Wing Co
Wednesday, 2 September 2009
Latest Intel
The stunning Lt Carruthers and I...
...welcome all our new readers to our Top Secret little blog here at the Underground Bunker at Biggin Hill.
We've been leaking classified Intel for a while now, from our very first blog which promoted the quaint R.A.F. way of speaking through to wondrous aircraft of the future to gorgeous air babes to all manner of awesome and funny aircraft pictures and intel.
Please browse and enjoy.
We took a short break from reporting, - going deep undie cover for a highly dangerous mission that even we could not blog about, (well, maybe not). But we prevailed, defeated Her Majesty's enemies once again and, in the peaceful calm of post battle took to our top of the range nuclear powered R.A.F. p.c.'s once again.
Our brand new Intel reports are listed below or just tag back from this one.
Please , EYES ONLY and stop by in the comments to say "Hello" or as we in the R.A.F. say "Air Hair Lair, Pleased awfully to meet you"
TTFN, Regards,
Wing Co & Lt Carruthers xxx
New Intel (in mission order)
Back in action!
Sshhh planes
Undie cover
Mission de-brief
Beware of thieves in the night...
So, I got a few old heli's, a balloon & some meccano ...
Angels from Heaven
Behind the scenes: Bunker de-classified...
Friday, 28 August 2009
Behind the scenes: Bunker de-classified...
Tally Ho aeronauts!What with all this freedom of information clap trap that's all the rage now, the sinister powers that be here at the M.O.D. Top Secret Bunker, Biggin Hill, A233 Kent, U.K.
(ahem!) sensed a p.r. opportunity.
Fortunately my very talented (so the Ladies say) cousin was available. He is a top photographer with a high security clearance, who also has some considerable knowledge of covert ops...
Anyway, the champagne flowed, the female staff swooned, and a great day was had by all (ooh behave...)
So here's all the official photos of our clandestine base that they would allow out into the WWW after checking the small print on the official secrets act...
My car
Lt Carruthers car
My transport plane
Lt Carruthers planes
The Staff Bar & Restaurant
Our Sports and Social Club
Our lovely receptionists at our custom GE747 cowling reception desks. Strange there was only this one photo, Austin was down there for some time...(ooh behave!)
Our Science Dept receptionist, and Q's right hand, Dr May Givehead (ooh will you behave!) at her custom DC9 desk
And Austin's pictured Dr May Givehead again, for some reason. She seems to have changed her clothes in this one...is that a saucy nightie under her coat..?
Wait a tad, that's a man's coat she's wearing...
Oh, Austin I told you to behave!
My always stunning very personal secretary Lt Carruthers at her custom GE747 cowling desk
My office bar
My fish tank
My Chair
My custom B25 bomber desk
And of course, our custom mile high bed.
Ooh I really should behave.
I really should...
Coming Carruthers...
( with special thanks to the very talented chaps at http://www.motoart.com/ for their custom furniture)
Thursday, 27 August 2009
Wednesday, 26 August 2009
So, I got a few old heli's, a balloon & some meccano ...
Intel says it's the Piasecki PA-97 Helistat (U.S. Navy and U.S. Forest Service 1986), a $40 million experimental heavy-lift aircraft, built by Frank Piasecki by fastening four obsolete Sikorsky H-34J helicopters to a framework beneath a ZPG-2W helium blimp...
Designed to lift 26 tons, flight tests proved it to be so unstable as to be uncontrollable. It crashed at Lakehust, New Jersey in July 1986, killing one of the pilots.
Mission de-brief
I, and some junior Intel Officers surveyed the ancient aircraft the SAS had found abandoned in the desert We thought they'd perfect for our clandestine operations. Made of string and wood, y'see, so invisible to the enemy's radar...
As I had heroically volunteered for the most dangerous mission, despite my lovely Carruthers begging me not to, I thought it best to false flag my aircraft in case the bugger got shot down.
Rather classically, I thought, we set off at dawn...
Our mission was two fold...
One: Locate & Destroy the enemy's prototype aerial battleship. Intel Cor thought this might give our ground forces some serious strafing hassle.
Two: Stop the supply trains so they couldn't build another of this terrifying leviathans...
We attacked against all odds...
And destroyed our objectives...
We returned to our base...
..safely, though some not quite as unscathed as others...
However, we all got that al important hero's welcome home!
TTFN!
As I had heroically volunteered for the most dangerous mission, despite my lovely Carruthers begging me not to, I thought it best to false flag my aircraft in case the bugger got shot down.
Rather classically, I thought, we set off at dawn...
Our mission was two fold...
One: Locate & Destroy the enemy's prototype aerial battleship. Intel Cor thought this might give our ground forces some serious strafing hassle.
Two: Stop the supply trains so they couldn't build another of this terrifying leviathans...
We attacked against all odds...
And destroyed our objectives...
We returned to our base...
..safely, though some not quite as unscathed as others...However, we all got that al important hero's welcome home!
TTFN!
Tuesday, 25 August 2009
Undie cover
Hi ya Flyboys, Lt Carruthers here.Can't let the Old Wing Co have all the glory...
Just to let you all you guys know I'm safe and well, and I've been on secret missions too. Long, hot desert nights under deep cover with the old buffoon. What a gal has to do her country!
So here's one for my fans, taken by Wing Co himself, after we'd dusted orf a few enemy cabbage crates.
As you can see, my nimble little fighter picked up a few bullet holes, but most fortunately, the champagne did not pop prematurely.
( yes I have it on tap, come on you wouldn't begrudge a lady her luxuries would you gentlemen? )
Hope to catch you later, boys, Lt Carruthers, xxx
Sshhh planes
Snuck these piccies on the home run from the last oppo.
Believe it or not, these big buggers flew right under me ol' biplane. Nearly shook it to bits - it's only an old string bag after all!
Anyhow, looks like our boffin type chaps are playing around with solar panel hybrid designs to save the old fossil fuels a tad.
They're definitely quieter, whispering buggers took completely by surprise.
Lucky they weren't the Bosch, what!
Believe it or not, these big buggers flew right under me ol' biplane. Nearly shook it to bits - it's only an old string bag after all!
Anyhow, looks like our boffin type chaps are playing around with solar panel hybrid designs to save the old fossil fuels a tad.
They're definitely quieter, whispering buggers took completely by surprise.
Lucky they weren't the Bosch, what!
Monday, 24 August 2009
Back in action!
Tally Ho chaps and chapettes, Wing Co's back!
Sorry for the long delay in posting Intel, but I've been deep behind enemy lines.
Something to do with defence cutbacks and yours truly being the one the few (Literally, - God I miss my Spitfire) old enough to remember how to fly stringbags. We'd left them in the desert eons ago, and a SAS patrol were suprised and delighted to find them in fairly good condition. Something to do with the old dry air. So, got the call from Her Madge, God bless her, would I mind doing bit for the old Country (God bless it) again... So, one's been strafing the buggers, spying on 'em etc, etc and had maintain the old wireless silence, don't you know.
Hasn't been all bad. What with the all that camping out under the desert night stars with me sexy ground crews...
See you soon. Keep checking back, over...
Monday, 22 December 2008
Saturday, 20 December 2008
Sunday, 7 December 2008
Ace picture
Grumman F3F-2 fighters fly over as the USS Enterprise in San Diego Bay, USA, 1940
by Steve Anderson. http://www.anderson-art.com/
Westland Lysander P.12
A one off, converted Lysnader "spy drooper" designed as an aerial machine gun platform ( 2 x .20 mm (0.787 in) Guns + 4 x 20 mm (0.787 in) Guns in rear turret) to strafe possible pesky German invading forces in 1940-41
Monday, 1 December 2008
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