Friday 18 September 2009

Going silent for a tad...


Devious Devils, the enemy!

It seems after the outrageous success of my last mission, the enemy's top evil boffin was partially rebuilt and his vengeful, twisted genius has come up with a new plan to terrorize our somewhat riff-raff local allies.

Smaller, simpler stealth sky ships made from dried camel skins!

The raw materials are easy to come by, and, of course impervious to the fierce desert sun...




So, without further ado, Her Majesty's fearsome M.O.D. suspended all leave at the Top Secret Nuclear Bunker, Biggin Hill, U.K. and ordered us back behind enemy lines once again!

Duty calls, my brave fellow Officers and gentle Lady followers of this secret blog, so, for once, I must be brief...


Intel reports have confirmed that the enemy buggers were actually inspired by our very own western press agencies when they rather stupidly released stolen covert pictures of U.S. heavy lift choppers delivering an unnamed ally a new warship over the heavily mined naval strait.
As I have previously covertly revealed in full glorious detail before here in my private papers the enemy's first airships were huge wooden aerialbattleships, of crude design, but tremendous firepower.


We soon took them out, but did not know about the advanced designs they were working on.


The United Nations covert Space tracking station "Aye Eye" spotted and plotted their test runs and dispatched my lovely and vivacious very personal assistants Lt Carruthers and Captain Faifax to swiftly deal with them before they could attack our own covert robotic supply airships



We now have a more detailed plan for the main attack but unfortunately that must remain Ultra Top Secret for now.

Suffice to say Carruthers, Faifax, Selene, Fox, & I must remain deep under covers for a while...






I shall send you my next report as and when I am able to break radio silence. Until then, keep the faith and defend the realm!


I'm sure we shall meet again very soon...

Warmest regards,

Wing Co

( p.s. 'til I retrun, you can follow my olde adventures in order from here should you wish... )

Tuesday 15 September 2009

First flight

I've had most of the young fillies from the Royal Air Farce Regiment begging me to regale them for hours with my tales of daring and adventure. One of the most popular queries being "how did you begin your illustrious flying career, Wing Co. Sir?"

Well, as I'm sure all aviators know, the world's premier Air Force, The Royal Air Force, The R.A.F. wasn't officially formed until 1 April 1918 by the amalgamation of the Royal Flying Corps (RFC) and the Royal Naval Air Service (RNAS).
The RFC had been a corps of the army, and the RNAS under the control of Admiralty.

I, off course, had served with distinction in both services and was soon snapped up by the fledgling RAF for a life of spectacular adventure.

But, dear readers, even before that, I was in the covert and highly dangerous Balloon Company of the Royal Engineers...




This previously top secret photograph has just been cleared for release from the Top Secret Nuclear Bunker archives by the fearsome M.O.D.

It shows yours truly setting orff on my first covert African mission. But let's not get ahead of ourselves..


In 1878, the War Office formed a secret establishment at Woolwich to develop military ballooning under a keen amateur balloonist Captain (later Colonel) James L B Templer.
Armed with a grant of £150, Britain’s first military balloon was constructed.
It was called Pioneer.

As a keen and brave young squaddie, (The R.A.F. obviously not yet in existence) I was accidentally volunteered for this brand new Balloon Section of the Royal Engineers.




A few years later, in 1885, the Fuzzie Wuzzies rose up and tried to take over the British built Suez canal.
The Empire couldn't have that, by jove!

So as part of the expeditionary force my balloon detachments were used operationally for the first time, in the Bechuanaland expedition and in the Sudan.
These campaigns proved the value of balloons for exceptional recon and we were soon back in action in the Boer War in South Africa (1899-1902) in the Natal, the Transvaal and the Orange Free State.
We were used for artillery observation in a number of major battles including Magersfontein, Paardeberg and Driefontein and were present at Ladysmith.
Damn it, man, I took a few pot shots meslf with me brand new Lee Enfield rifle, I can tell ya!

But I diverse..
After many more covert and recon ballooning adventures, which I may entertain you with at a later post, sometime around 1906, I moved up to my next, er, ahem, aircraft.

Kite, Man lifting 1A, I believe we called the contraption. Unlike balloons, these kites could be launched very quickly and used in winds of up to 50 miles per hour.
Which is why we grew such large moustaches; to warm our faces...

However, the following year, I was about to get my first proper motorised flight...



The Nulli Secundus (Latin: "Second to none") or British Army Dirigible No 1.

A Semi-rigid airship it became Britain's first military aircraft when she flew on 10 September 1907. The early design work was carried out by my old friend and mentor Colonel James Templer, and it was completed by Colonel John Capper of the Royal Engineers and Samuel Cody, the latter being mainly responsible for developing the steering gear and engine. She was built at our balloon factory at RAE Farnborough, and powered by a 50 hp (37 kW) Antoinette engine. She made her first public appearance on 5th October when we flew from Farnborough to London.
We completed a tour over the city, thrilling the patriotic crowds by circling St Paul's Cathedral until strong headwinds forced us to land at the Crystal Palace, Sydenham.
Our Historic flight lasted for 3 hours and 25 minutes and covered 50 miles (80 km) overland.

A young Wing Co, air ace of the future, had soared through the air on powered flight and there was no stopping him now!

Or the adventures that were to come...










Friday 11 September 2009

9 - 11


Remember why they're there and salute our armed forces!



These colours don't run!


Tuesday 8 September 2009

Saluting Captain Bob!

Saluting Captain Bob!


Bob Prothero, a 70-year-old retired RAF group captain from Portsmouth, has described his terror when a vintage bomber he was manoeuvring at an airshow accidentally took off because his co-pilot hit the throttle.

The recently restored Handley Page Victor, a vital part of Britain’s nuclear deterrent in the 1950s and 1960s, was intended only to taxi along a runway in front of spectators, before stopping for photographs, at a Leicestershire airshow.

The 75-tonne V-bomber rapidly reached take-off speed and began to climb. As it lumbered into the air, reaching 150ft, it veered to the left — heading towards a housing estate.

Mr Prothero, who last flew a Victor in the 1980s and whose flying licence had long since expired, was faced with a split-second decision: “I was petrified. Everything was pure instinct,” he said.

“I was shouting at the co-pilot to pull the throttle back. I saw the nose rise into the air. I thought, ‘Oh God here we go, how are we going to get out of this one?’”

“I had to make a snap decision. I pointed the nose down and noticed we were well and truly airborne, but because of the crosswind we were not over the runway. Thankfully, I managed to pitch the aircraft back towards the runway and away from any spectators.”

Mr Prothero landed the aircraft — named Teasin’ Tina — without a scratch.

“Nobody could really believe what had happened. There were people slapping me on the back and congratulating me on not crashing the thing and ruining the day.”

Here at the Secret Nuclear Bunker, Biggin Hill, UK we raise a glass and a salute to Group Captain Bob Prothero!

Once a hero, always a hero. Jolly well done, Bob!


Monday 7 September 2009

Good weekend?


What ho Chaps & Chapettes of Aviation Fandom!

Here's hoping one and all had a jolly good wheeze at the weekend, with more than your fair share of tiffing!

I know I certainly did...


After fending orf M.O.D. censorship threats (they don't like us revealing our secret mission reports here...), collating Intel reports of new readers (Hello, you're most welcome!) and replying to your kind messages of goodwill, we needed a bit of a whiz to combat the fatigue of good old fashioned hard work.



So my excellent very personal No 1, the lovely Lt Carruthers and her equally lovely assistant Lt Carstairs rather saucily suggested whisking me away for the weekend.


Oh, Rather!
How could any red blooded, true blue Brit hero lady Ace like yours truly refuse?

So, we fired up "Angel One", our Top Secret supersonic private jet...











...Piloted by the gorgeous Captain Fairfax, who warmly welcomed us aboard,






















She put on these superb in flight movies...



...and flew us over to Korea, where our Biggin Hill Spy Satellites had picked out an unusual restaurant worthy of some serious investigation...








Orn the way, from our mile high positions, we spotted some simply splendid cloud effects around our escorting warplanes








We were lucky to see similarly striking scenes around some unsuspecting civilian airliners...







Though not too sure about this last one Fairfax claims she bagged from the cockpit.
Seems a tad iffy to me...




However, on touchdown it soon transpired all was not well at this particular eatery...





















It had definitely seen better days...



And although the interior was still serviceable (not for Officers, admittedly, but NCO's would have found it appealing, I'm sure) ...
















...the restaurant suddenly roared orf down the road with the rush hour traffic!


Would you believe it!

So, my lovely Carrauthers and Carstairs popped some more champers and a "small" totty of H.M. Service issue rum for me self...


Put on another coupla of movies...




and we zoomed over to a swish little place I know in Switzerland for a posh nosh there...

called Runway 34


It's across one of the great lakes and the water taxi was quite, as you Americans might say, awesome!


Enough excitement for one day, we took the rather quaint retro-futuristic saucer bus back to Angel One...


Toodle pip, chaps!

TTFN,

Warmest regards,

Wing Co